Friends for life?
Friendships are hard, not all of them are meant to last and some of them are just meant to be, especially the ones which you least expected.
Something that I have realised and I am still realising as I grow up is that no matter how badly you want a friendship to work, it won't always work. That includes the people who you thought were going to be your friends for life, those who you discussed your wedding with and all of those shenanigans.
If it is not meant to be, it is not meant to be. This is probably what people tell you about relationships but honestly, it applies to friendships too.
We've all had our ups and downs when it comes to friendships and we've all probably asked ourselves the same questions at one point in our lives 'Who are our real friends?'. It started from being friends with everyone in year 7 to leaving with 5 close friends in year 11 to not even talking to those 5 friends in sixth form and coming out of sixth form with 4 new friends that you never thought you would be close to. Friendships work in weird ways, you could be lucky and have that one best friend since year 8 that's like a sister or a brother to you or you could go through many shitty friendships to finding real ones at a much later stage in your life. And you know what, that's okay too.
One thing we all need to realise is that friendship is not about who you've known the longest. It's about those amazing little gems who will support you, who will have your back and who will believe in you no matter what. Who's always got your back and is the brightest star in your life. You could know someone for 6/7 years of your life and they could be the most toxic person, you might not realise it at first and you'll defend them because you've 'known them for so long' or 'they've always been there for you'. But have they really? Have they really been there for you? Stop and think about that for a moment. You'll soon realise that once you've cut them out of your life, you would feel a bit happier and a lot of burden would have been lifted off of your shoulders.
That being said, I have met people in the last 3 years of my life who are the most awesome human beings. I've always found it hard to open up and become friends with people but there are certain people that I have met that I have just clicked with from the get go and it's weird how they've had such a big positive impact on my life in comparison to people who I have known for years, people who I would have thought were going to be my friends for life. I guess to some extent its because not everyone is going to stay the same when we grow up, views change, attitudes change and for the longest time I refused to accept that. I refused to accept that I no longer clicked with certain people. I tried really hard to maintain certain friendships and that's the worst thing you could do for yourself. When you know it's time to let go of certain friendships, you need to let go otherwise you're just going to make it worse for yourself but trust me, you'll feel so much better when you do.
If it is not meant to be, it is not meant to be. This is probably what people tell you about relationships but honestly, it applies to friendships too.
We've all had our ups and downs when it comes to friendships and we've all probably asked ourselves the same questions at one point in our lives 'Who are our real friends?'. It started from being friends with everyone in year 7 to leaving with 5 close friends in year 11 to not even talking to those 5 friends in sixth form and coming out of sixth form with 4 new friends that you never thought you would be close to. Friendships work in weird ways, you could be lucky and have that one best friend since year 8 that's like a sister or a brother to you or you could go through many shitty friendships to finding real ones at a much later stage in your life. And you know what, that's okay too.
One thing we all need to realise is that friendship is not about who you've known the longest. It's about those amazing little gems who will support you, who will have your back and who will believe in you no matter what. Who's always got your back and is the brightest star in your life. You could know someone for 6/7 years of your life and they could be the most toxic person, you might not realise it at first and you'll defend them because you've 'known them for so long' or 'they've always been there for you'. But have they really? Have they really been there for you? Stop and think about that for a moment. You'll soon realise that once you've cut them out of your life, you would feel a bit happier and a lot of burden would have been lifted off of your shoulders.
That being said, I have met people in the last 3 years of my life who are the most awesome human beings. I've always found it hard to open up and become friends with people but there are certain people that I have met that I have just clicked with from the get go and it's weird how they've had such a big positive impact on my life in comparison to people who I have known for years, people who I would have thought were going to be my friends for life. I guess to some extent its because not everyone is going to stay the same when we grow up, views change, attitudes change and for the longest time I refused to accept that. I refused to accept that I no longer clicked with certain people. I tried really hard to maintain certain friendships and that's the worst thing you could do for yourself. When you know it's time to let go of certain friendships, you need to let go otherwise you're just going to make it worse for yourself but trust me, you'll feel so much better when you do.
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| how you would probably feel when cutting them off but you'll thank yourself in the long run |
Making friends is no easy job. It is a very hard thing to do, especially when you are so content with your small friendship group and you're scared that putting yourself out there and making new friends would change that. At the same time though, it's also good to spice things up a bit, and you'll have to always go through the tough times in order to have good things.
This has been a very long post and I have so much more to say about friends and friendship, but maybe those thoughts could be for another post so I am going to wrap this up with a quick little message to my amazing gems out there.
Thank you so much for constantly being there for me and I am so grateful to have you all in my life. You are all one of a kind and without you guys I probably wouldn't be as content with my life and I would honestly be so lost. You are all an amazing bunch of people and I honestly hope, that you will all be my friends for life.
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| this is how i feel when i think about you all and how grateful i am to have you all in my life x |
Sweena x
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