it's been an interesting year...(2020 recap)

how we've all been throughout 2020

Since I've started this blog, it's been kind of my thing to do a quick recap as to how the year has been for me, so that I could look back on it in the future and just see how much has changed in general but also how I have changed. 

As the year comes to an end,  I think it's fair to say that 2020 has been extremely funky and just filled with lots of uncertainty. We don't know when everything is going to go back to 'normal', so we just have to learn and adapt to the new 'norm' that we've been having to experience for the past year. But, let's be honest. It's been tough.

This year has been full of ups and downs. But with everything that has happened this year, I can honestly say that I've learnt a lot. Not just about everything that has gone on in society and in the world but also about myself. Throughout this pandemic, one of the major things I've learnt is that you really can't keep looking at things in a negative point of view because you really won't get far. You're just going to end up making it worse for yourself. So I just had to try and look at things positively, be less harsh on myself and keep trying.  

One of the many ups this year, is that I got back into things that I used to love doing, such as reading and playing the guitar. I've always loved reading but after A-Level English Literature, I just wasn't reading as much as I would have liked. English Lit just sucks out the fun of reading and I'm pretty sure any English Lit student would agree with me. However, this pandemic has allowed me to get back into something that helped me cope with stress and anxiety. Many people ask me why I love to read so much, or how I have the time to read books. The answer to those questions is that, I make time for reading. I set myself a goal of reading at least 2 chapters per day. Sometimes when it gets a bit exciting, I read a bit more but usually I limit myself to 2 chapters. Reading for me, and for many others is an escape. Sometimes, in books the characters go through so much shitty stuff that reality doesn't seem too bad and vice versa. And that's helped me a lot, especially through this pandemic. Also you just also get so invested in the characters lives, it's as if they're your friends and honestly I just love it because you feel a little less lonely. Honestly, I could go on and on about how much I love reading but I'm just going to stop there before I get carried away. I'll save that for another time!

With the guitar, as many people know I've been playing it since the start of year 7,  so 2010. I've always just learnt rock songs, performed in a rock band or guitar ensemble so I never really bothered to experiment. I also just never really thought that I was that good at the guitar, so after I moved schools for sixth form, my lack of confidence meant that I stopped playing for a year or 2 until I got to uni and joined the South Asian Fine Arts society. At first I started an instagram page after some encouragement from a mutual friend but didn't post anything because I still didn't have faith in myself. I also didn't know what I wanted to post guitar content wise. But I finally plucked up the courage during the pandemic, to try new things with the guitar and just post for myself, so I can see the improvement over time. If there's another thing I've really learnt throughout the pandemic, posting these guitar covers and even writing these blog posts is to do things for myself rather than to seek other peoples approval. 

But as I said, 2020 has not just been full of ups. There's also been downs. As we learn to adapt our every day lives to accommodate for the new 'norm', keeping our mental health at its best has been hard. I've mentioned this before in a previous post, but dealing with mental health and just talking about mental health in a Tamil household (or just Asian household) is not easy. Even though I know that I could talk to anybody in my house about what I was going through. During times like this, I felt as if it was selfish about talking about my struggles and kept a lot of things to myself. Loneliness would kick in, as well as many other emotions and it would just not be a fun time. And whilst usually I would be able to deal with these emotions by just going on self adventures to museums, with everything being closed, obviously I'm not able to those things. But it's allowed me to not only understand myself better but also discover new things and get back into things that I used to enjoy. 

I know that just because 2020 is nearly over, it doesn't mean everything will go back to normal 2021. And in comparison to others, without dismissing what I've felt throughout this year, I know that others have had it worse. So I'm glad that I've gotten through 2020 in one piece. Let's hope that 2021 will be kinder and easier to handle. Let's hope that the government will finally get their priorities straight and learn to properly run a country.

we've gotten through 2020!!!

Stay safe and look after yourselves x 

- Sweena :-)