Stigma around Mental Health within the Tamil community

me giving everybody reading this a big fat hug

As the years pass by, the number of young individuals, both girls and boys who have taken their lives and are no longer with us continues to increase. When it comes to talking about mental health within the Tamil community, everybody knows it is not the easiest subject to talk about, especially as it be considered as unattractive. It is something that most parents avoid talking about because they either, don't really understand or, because it's something that they refuse to accept, as it brings about the feeling of shame.

Most teens and even adults avoid talking about it because they know that they won't be taken seriously if they did approach their parents. But the thing is, it shouldn't be that way. We, us teenagers and adults, shouldn't be afraid to approach our parents to talk about our emotions and express our feelings because the fact that we are, makes things extremely difficult for those who are suffering, because they are suffering in silence. It's interesting how the difference in help and assistance that we get when we seek out help for physical or even general health, we'd quickly be prescribed medication, we'd be taken care of immediately, but why is that different when it comes to our mental health? 

There has always been stigma surrounding the topic of mental health, it's evident Western society but especially in the Tamil community or even any other Asian community is something that I have been aware of. The fact that we feel shame for being humans and having feelings, we are very reluctant to seek out for help because we are scared that we won't be looked at the same, that we might be alienated and be treated differently. 

In the Tamil community, poor mental health because it's something that you can't physically see, it's often mistaken as non-existent. However, it’s something that, as I have mentioned before, we avoid talking about because it is thought of something that is 'just in your head'. Unfortunately, the response that you may get from someone when you do open up, whether it's your parents or even a professional, can be very discouraging and it can also make you take steps back and have even more of a negative impact on your mental health.  This discouragement means that the young person will stop seeking out for help or talking to someone because they would believe that what they're feeling does not have any significance. But I would just like to point out that it does, it is normal to feel what you're feeling. You're human. People shouldn't be ashamed of it, and the fact that being open and talking about it brings shame upon an individual is toxic. This toxicity around expressing our emotions to our families, friends or whoever matters needs to stop and it should be encouraged instead.

Especially when it comes to young boys. I have seen so many articles of young Tamil boys who have taken their lives and it breaks my heart. There's this idea that boys expressing their emotions is seen as 'weak'. Because there's this expectations from boys to be the man of the house, have these responsibilities and as an extension also be respectable and strong. 'Put your emotions behind you and get the job done' is the type of mindset that is expected to be followed. Showing emotion is seen as a weakness. But it's not, if anything it is brave, respectable and admirable and it is normal. Men and women are not robots, they are also humans. Expressing their emotions should be accepted and they should also be provided with help. They should get the support and help that they deserve so that they could accomplish all the great things that they are working towards. It breaks my heart knowing that there are individuals who have to keep everything to themselves because they know that their parents won't understand or they don't want to be seen as weak for feeling the way that they are feeling. 

As part of the current generation of young Tamils in society, I believe that it is important to emphasise and encourage individuals who are going through any sort of mental illnesses to talk to each other, if they don't feel as if they cannot talk to their parents due to the fear of alienation or not being understood. Check up on your friends, make sure that they're doing okay and let them know that you're there for them. Encourage each other to speak, don't keep anything to yourself because it'll only get harder. The more you keep to yourself, the harder it will be for you to get through the day. Be kind to one another, you don't know what someone is going through. Remember to be kind to yourself as often as you can. We put so much pressure on ourselves, and sometimes we don't even realise it because we're so used to trying to keep up with the external pressures and before you know it, you're trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Someone could be so good at hiding their emotions that you wouldn't know what they're experiencing. Just because someone is outgoing, it doesn't mean that they don't feel lonely. Just because someone is considered to be attractive it doesn't mean that they're not insecure. I encourage you to please stop making people feel as if they shouldn't feel certain emotions or a certain way because they don't fit a certain category. Don't judge a book by it's cover. 

The older generation may not understand but I'm sure that we do and we're still learning and the only thing we can do as the days, months and years go on is to look after one another  and be there for each other. The Tamil community is one close community and we need to be there to look out for our brothers and sisters that are suffering in silence and let them know that even though they might feel like they are alone, that they aren't. We don't want our children to hesitate to talk to us about how they're feeling because they think that we wouldn't understand or they don't want to bring shame upon the family, because they won't. We need to start loving, and looking after each other now to set an example to the younger generation and get rid of this stigma about mental health within our society. 


Please look after one another, take care of each other.
Much Love,
 Sweena.

P.S : Please know that if you need to talk to someone, I will hands down put everything down and help in anyway that I can. If you're going through things, please don't be too hard on yourself and take things slowly. Give yourself a break and work towards things at your own pace, there's no rush. 


One last message to those angels who are no longer with us, rest in peace and you're so loved and will always be in our thoughts.